Plot Twist — Valerie Tharp Byers

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Valerie Tharp Byers, EdD, is an education researcher living in Spring, Texas, with her husband, Tim, and children, Will and Samantha. Valerie became a rare disease advocate in 2015 following Will’s diagnosis of Sanfilippo syndrome, a degenerative and fatal genetic disorder. Valerie is also a board member of the Cure Sanfilippo Foundation, where she works to raise the public profile of Sanfilippo syndrome to support research and clinical trials. With “Plot Twist,” Valerie hopes that her reflections on working through life’s numerous hiccups will make readers feel less alone as they face their own challenges.

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With Sanfilippo, it’s a foreign feeling when things go right

“Are you ready?” I asked my husband as we stood on the steps outside of a massive, intimidating building. “As ready as I can be, I guess,” he replied. We nodded at each other and walked to the front door. It was time to attend the first high school…

Valerie Byers

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As My Son With Sanfilippo Syndrome Slows Down, Time Speeds Up

“Will’s just doing so well,” a well-intentioned person gushes to me. I smile, happy for the attention and recognition Will receives for his hard work. “I just see him up and walking so much more,” the person continues. “You can really tell he’s getting better!” I maintain my smile and…

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As a Sanfilippo Caregiver, Summer Means a Changing of the Rings

I look down at my hand and back at my face in the mirror. It’s time. I sigh and take off the diamond and white gold wedding band that I love and place it, lovingly, carefully, into my jewelry box. Then, from the same box, I pull a silver-colored silicon…

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It’s 1 AM, so I Must Be Tired

It’s 1 a.m. on a Wednesday, and I’m sitting in my living room debating my options while listening to my 11-year-old son repetitively clap and growl over the baby monitor we still keep installed in his room. Will isn’t sleeping tonight. Which means I’m not sleeping tonight. Although none of…

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What Will Our Daughter Remember?

Parenting a child with Sanfilippo syndrome results in many forms of grief. There is the diagnosis grief, when you mourn the loss of the future you thought your child had. There is regression grief, as you watch your child’s skills slip away day by day, stolen by a monster you…

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Moving From Helpless to Helped

One of the most difficult things about having a child with an incurable terminal condition is the feeling of helplessness that comes with it. When Will was diagnosed with Sanfilippo syndrome seven years ago this month, it was crushing to realize that we were going to bear witness to the…

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The Gift of Grief Is Connection

March 5, 2015, was the worst day of my life. I had stumbled upon a story from the “Today” show about a little girl with Sanfilippo syndrome, and my heart instantly knew what my brain wanted to deny: My 4-year-old son, Will, had the same rare genetic disorder, which…

Columns

When Help Isn’t Helpful

A few years ago, I was chatting with a friend who was the primary caregiver for a family member with a terminal condition. Even though our stories were different, we had enough in common with caring for a terminally ill loved one that we could connect and have the “real…

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I Mustache You, Do You See Me?

It happened. It came on so gradually I didn’t even comprehend what was happening until it was there. But there is no denying it now: Will has a mustache. I can’t ignore it any longer that my baby boy has a mustache. He has pimples. He has hair in new…

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A Sanfilippo Parent Looks at 40

I was sore. It was nothing major, just the usual muscle aches following a good workout when you’ve been off for a while. It was late August, and the kids had returned to school. Summer is hard enough as a full-time caregiver to a child with special needs, but…

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