Plot Twist – a Column by Valerie Tharp Byers

Parenting a child with Sanfilippo syndrome results in many forms of grief. There is the diagnosis grief, when you mourn the loss of the future you thought your child had. There is regression grief, as you watch your child’s skills slip away day by day, stolen by a monster you…

One of the most difficult things about having a child with an incurable terminal condition is the feeling of helplessness that comes with it. When Will was diagnosed with Sanfilippo syndrome seven years ago this month, it was crushing to realize that we were going to bear witness to the…

March 5, 2015, was the worst day of my life. I had stumbled upon a story from the “Today” show about a little girl with Sanfilippo syndrome, and my heart instantly knew what my brain wanted to deny: My 4-year-old son, Will, had the same rare genetic disorder, which…

A few years ago, I was chatting with a friend who was the primary caregiver for a family member with a terminal condition. Even though our stories were different, we had enough in common with caring for a terminally ill loved one that we could connect and have the “real…

It happened. It came on so gradually I didn’t even comprehend what was happening until it was there. But there is no denying it now: Will has a mustache. I can’t ignore it any longer that my baby boy has a mustache. He has pimples. He has hair in new…

I was sore. It was nothing major, just the usual muscle aches following a good workout when you’ve been off for a while. It was late August, and the kids had returned to school. Summer is hard enough as a full-time caregiver to a child with special needs, but…

This was my Wednesday afternoon: I’m changing my son’s diaper while talking on the phone with one of his specialists to schedule his annual visit. I glance at the clock — his speech therapist will arrive in just 10 minutes and he still needs his snack. I finish the…

“Don’t worry, they won’t go to college in diapers!” It’s the statement so many people give to parents as they go through the often difficult adventure of potty training. In the United States, potty training is normally started between 21 and 36 months, though only 40-60% of children…

Summer — it’s a season of lots of fun, but also lots of difficulty for my family and many others like us. As I wrote last month, my 11-year-old son, Will, has Sanfilippo syndrome, which makes summer a particularly tough time for me as a caregiver. In addition to…

Y’all. I am tired. My son’s birthday was last week. Will turned 11. This was going to be a column about the bittersweet nature of birthdays when it comes to progressive, terminal diagnoses that have no treatment. About being so thankful for another year while also realizing that it brings…