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How Anticipatory Grief Reflects My Daily Reality

Caring for a loved one with a terminal illness is difficult. Not knowing the details or the timing of their passing causes so much anxiety and fear. My daughter Abby has Sanfilippo syndrome, a rare, terminal disease. I find myself caring for her while she is here but also…

The Hard Part Is Not What We Thought It’d Be

When people learn what Sanfilippo syndrome is and that our 12-year-old son has it, their reactions are immediate. “Oh, I’m so sorry.” “I can’t even imagine.” “That must be so hard.” Sanfilippo is a devastating disease. There’s no way around that. It’s devastating to the child, feeling frustrated as…

My Sister’s Sanfilippo Helps Me Guide My Students

I have a job that I love. This is my third year teaching first grade, and it’s rewarding and challenging in so many ways. From day one, my students (or my “kiddos,” as I call them) learn that kindness is our classroom’s golden rule. I remind them each and…

Trying to Live With Sanfilippo but Without Constant Worry

Raising children is a big responsibility. Parents experience so many emotions while rearing children — joy, sadness, frustration, gratitude, fear, and more. So many things can go wrong. So many reasons to worry. I’m not a worrisome mother; I try not to sweat the small stuff. This is partly due…

We Live in a World Full of Gray — Embrace It

We do not live in a world of absolutes, a world of only black and white, right or wrong, good or bad. Instead, there are mostly shades of grays, or different versions of the truth. Each version is based upon personal experiences, making it mostly subjective. This should give us…

It’s 1 AM, so I Must Be Tired

It’s 1 a.m. on a Wednesday, and I’m sitting in my living room debating my options while listening to my 11-year-old son repetitively clap and growl over the baby monitor we still keep installed in his room. Will isn’t sleeping tonight. Which means I’m not sleeping tonight. Although none of…

The Challenges of Caring for an Adult With Sanfilippo Syndrome

Sanfilippo syndrome is a rare, genetic disease that typically presents itself in children when they are either toddlers or adolescents. Children with this disease commonly exhibit hyperactivity, cognitive decline, sleep problems, diarrhea, and declining motor skills. Unfortunately, these individuals often pass away either before or during their teenage…

What Will Our Daughter Remember?

Parenting a child with Sanfilippo syndrome results in many forms of grief. There is the diagnosis grief, when you mourn the loss of the future you thought your child had. There is regression grief, as you watch your child’s skills slip away day by day, stolen by a monster you…

When I Think of My Family, I Often Worry

I have always struggled with anxiety. I have also always been close to my family. When my sister, Abby, was diagnosed with Sanfilippo syndrome — a terminal illness with no cure — those two things teamed up to challenge my mental health in a way I’d never experienced before. When…